I live life with the mentality that I fight my fears and conquer fear in all I do but just the other day I had to admit that (yuckily) once again I was stalled out from fear in my professional life and in my personal life.
For a minute I sat there thinking, “How did that happen?” I had just proven to myself once again I could public speak twice over a weekend in June and had done several things in the past few months that defined exactly what fighting fear is all about. I was on a roll like I had never been.
But wait, I realized somehow life got busy and I subconsciously lost the fight to fear again recently. I was grateful in that moment that I could see it since that meant at one point I had learned how to be conscious to fighting fear. I knew then that it was because life took an unexpected course and that threw me off completely.
Fear used to dictate my life. It kept me from things I wanted to do. Today, it does not and I am enjoying venturing out and trying so many new things. I am finding out this week though, it probably is keeping me from my full potential right now. Okay, I need to be brutally honest, yes, it is keeping me from my great productivity. I have been less productive in my work lately.
And that needs to change!
I realized in that moment of clarity though, as I really was picking apart what fear is, that fear is…nothing.
Yes, nothing. Nothing? Absolutely nothing.
We have the option to provide fear with the ability to control us or we can think it is nothing and it will be nothing. There is no reason to be afraid of stupid fear. What exactly is fear I asked myself?
Afraid of putting myself out there to maybe be rejected or get a negative review? Afraid of someone judging you? Um, that is not fear. Fear is having a gun held to your head in an act of violence. Fear is receiving a death sentence or a terminal illness. Afraid of failure? That is not something to fear.
If we look at our fears, we can almost say they are made up. Take failure for one. Why do we think of that as a bad thing? We think of failure as not recovering from it. We think of failure as negative when in fact it is the exact opposite.
Failure is just one more step towards success. I have learned some of my best and brightest lessons from what I have defined as failure. Life lessons come from mistakes and from when we deviate off our chosen path. Sometimes life finds us in challenging situations and somehow we always make it through and I doubt you can argue when I say better. We become smarter and better people.
With each failure I find I have gained life experience and a growth I never would have reached without it. The growth can be seen over time when you step back and look at where you have come from.
Being vulnerable is strength. It is hard to be able to be transparent when we focus on the what ifs or the fear when we get scared. But when you break it down and really see the inside out of fear, fear is nothing and truly does not matter.
If we do not give fear its power, it truly is nothing.
Fear may always still be there in some ways, so maybe it’s not about becoming fearless but learning how to always be one step ahead of any fear. Processing it as nothing may work for our minds. Today it is working!
So, here I am going back to living transparent. Here I am going back to being vulnerable. Here I am going back but with the first time realizing fear is nothing. With that, I am going to live life today with the mindset of nothing can stop me and if I make a mistake, so be it. I can always readjust and alter and try again.
I will take the leap of faith and do what I want to do professionally and learn to be better at it. Doing it is the only way to learn. If I sit back to fear, I will never learn.
Today’s life lesson: Here’s to fear being nothing.
(PS: Yes, I make up my own words. Yuckily is now a word.)