I’ve said many a time in this life, that I am attempting to find my purpose. I sometimes feel like I am right where I am supposed to be and sometimes I feel there is something more.
Many times I am searching.
I feel I can help people or am destined to help people. Sometimes I feel like I could be a motivational speaker to help someone step outside their comfort zone as I have done. Sometimes I think I have a story to tell and sometimes I think accomplishing as much as I have with a disability can be inspiration to someone out there.
Texting with my work partner today, I had not only my eyes opened but my life altered. Sometimes words can just be a blessing.
He wrote, “As to greater things and purpose, I’ll get deep for a moment. Here’s my life philosophy regarding its purpose. There really isn’t one. Not in the sense of a singular definable purpose. The real purpose of life is to just live it. The key to happiness is in how you live it. Not profound or unusual, right? But here’s the thing I think a lot of people get wrong. They search for something. Some goal or purpose that makes them feel better. The true key to being happy with HOW you deal and live in every moment. In everyday average life. You have a profound effect on every person you meet and interact with. Realizing that can help you to realize that searching for one distinct “bigger than you” purpose is fruitless. You’re not “less than” someone else who may have done something you had aspired to, but failed to attain. And stop thinking of the word failed as a bad thing. In fact, quit using the word. You either do, or you don’t. That simple. Life is simply living as long as you can. And enjoying as many of the moments that you can. Making choices that you can stand behind. Everything else, is just a part of the path of life.”
So in the midst of a life altering moment for me, I was also surprised in myself. Half of what he said is how I live my life everyday. This blog contests to my importance of living in the moment, being positive, working towards dreams, just living life each and every day. I have been saying this for years now.
How in the world did I preach that and live that but not even realize that in itself, this can be the purpose of life?
I realized in the moment of reading this text, that I found relief that I could just be. This week I had been really searching as to where I am headed and thinking about retirement planning. Thinking means having to have a plan for when this time arrives. I was not finding any answers and became confused. I have been tying my life’s purpose into what my second career and retirement days could be filled with.
Yesterday speaking with a coworker who has done numerous tours of duty to the desert, having asked to leave his family and go to Afghanistan by choice to serve yet again, I told him, “I do not regret anything in my life except not deciding I wanted to sign up for the National Guard until it was too late because of my age.” He told me that there is a possibility that my age may be able to be waived which means I could still live out my ultimate dream in this world. He said he would have an answer for me in one day.
I realized after I spent an hour on the ultimate adrenaline high that this may very well be possible. I thought about how drastic my life would change and that it is everything I want.
I also realized it could be too good to be true and that this would not be possible. Secretly I felt this to be the case, but still felt the high of my purpose, thinking maybe I found it: to serve my country.
There is something about my life I cannot explain. I think in a past life I was a military officer. It is something I feel in my soul. I cannot explain it. I sometimes do not even always understand it.
But as the adrenaline wore off, I had a feeling my life would be remaining as it is. I found as I was trying to concentrate at work that I was again in search, big time, for my purpose. If it was not to become a member of our Armed Forces, I needed another purpose.
Then after reading this text, I realized I needed to stand down.
Continue on… just living.
Regardless of the answer I receive today.