It is moments when I feel at peace with life and where I am at, I understand the growth, life lessons and change I have endured. To be a lady liberated and sit back and feel like where ever I am at, is just fine.
I am not the same person I was from just the beginning of the year or maybe even from weeks ago. Some people do not change over the span of a year or months or days. I see change in all of these.
Since the beginning of the year, things have changed, a couple friendships drifted away, I have disappointed myself, I fell off my workout routine to non-existant again, but also I have had sweet moments, friendships grow, good family time, many opportunities flourished, and a few serious fighting fear escapades occurred. (I am still deathly afraid of frogs in my yard!)
It really is about the journey and learning so much along the way. I hope I never stop learning and changing through the journey of my life. These life lessons are absolutely liberating.
Lesson #1: I have learned that we can never get away from sad moments or bad days or stressful things that come up in life. I have learned that resilience in bouncing back makes all the difference in the world. I have learned we cannot control what happens in life, but we can control how we respond to it.
Lesson #2: Everything society expects from a woman and what I had dreams of becoming did not pan out, so the past few years have been confusing as to my purpose. I do not really understand my purpose in this world now, even still, after some years gone by. But on the other hand, I have learned (well, am learning…) it does not mean I am less of a person or less worthy than those who have purpose like being a mother or a father or a spouse or a motivator or a leader. It does not mean I am a failure if I do not find my purpose; it just means it might not be something specific I do. I am who I am and what I represent is purposeful enough.
Lesson #3: I am and have always been so grateful for the support and caring inner circle I have had. But recently I have never been more thankful and honored by those who take the time to tell me I am on the right path, those who are reading my work and those who encourage me to keep going. I love my inner circle of badasses and their support and kind words mean the world to me. It is no secret I suffer from self confidence issues a lot of the time and I am still working on being kind to me and for the first time really believe that what they are saying is truth. The daily or weekly affirmations of them saying it is okay to step outside my comfort zone, that I will be okay trying new things, that my writing is decent, to keep plugging away, that I am completing some pretty cool assignments, has helped me produce some of my best work yet. I am honored to have my tribe of badasses and I will never take their support for granted.
Lesson #4: I need to fail more often. It is okay to fail for it means I am trying, I am working, I am living up to fear and not letting fear conquer my life. Even though I have done some scary things, I still find myself succumbing to the fear of failing and avoid things I want to accomplish. I need to step out yet more and just do it. I like to say I am no longer a perfectionist but at times, I know I am lying to myself. I still battle some perfectionist and Type A ways. I have learned the only failure is not trying. I refuse to play small and live life safe.