Having just spent a week with my father, I realize there will never be enough time.
I got a scary call that my father was rushed to the ER last Saturday night. I was at work and being in another state not only made me feel scared sh*tless but helpless.
This had been my biggest fear that one day this could happen. And it was here.
Could I handle it?!?
My dad is in his 70s and had never been in the hospital before.
Once I learned there was a medical issue and he was being admitted into the hospital, I rushed out of work, with minimal clothing and only my personal items on my back, to catch the last flight out for the night.
Freaking out was an understatement.
Was this it? Was this the beginning of the end of our time together?
Once arriving, I then rented a car and drove 2.5 hours to the hospital. It was hell driving. Thoughts going through my mind in every direction.
I made it and remained bedside for days until he was discharged from the hospital.
I barely ate for days thinking I would throw up at every bite. Never experiencing trying to sleep in the hospital before, it was the most frustrating thing. Every time we dozed off, the nurses came in. Sleeping in a chair (even with it reclining and a blanket) was interesting.
Sleep deprived, scared, and nutrition starved is quite a combination.
We as humans can sustain a lot of stress I realize.
And somehow we made it through.
This past week has been a total life transformation for my dad. I spent hours researching medical stuff and a healthy diet and introducing it all to him.
I hope his new lifestyle and going out for walks will prolong his life.
But this week taught me, we just never know.
When it is our time, it is our time.
I know there will never be enough time.
We must just be at peace with this in our lives and make the most of every day.
I have always been one to share my feelings and tell those special to me how I feel. I may just be doing it a tad bit more now.
Sorry if it annoys you.
We have our family and friends and our dreams. We have the special moments in our lives that make us smile and the times that make us wish we could stop time.
Since we cannot stop time, there will never be enough time.
We must focus on the little moments in our lives. Complain less and be more present.
The capturing an amazing sunset or laughing uncontrollably at work or singing in the car or sharing texts with my favorite people in my life.
The crawling into bed and feeling totally at peace or the ability to clear my mind to read a book.
The lyrics and melodies to the country music I am addicted to or the hot baths that feel so good.
The lunches and dinners shared with family and friends or the high after a good workout.
Since life is so busy and work has us pulled away from the things we would rather be doing, we must pick up every little simple thing that is a part of our daily living. We must notice those things more.
I have always known life is short, but living in the moment is the most important thing we can do.
So be present and live life up no matter what we are doing.
If we are not present, there is not enough time.
There will never be enough time.
But maybe, just maybe, if we do it right, we can feel it to be almost enough.