I have made a revelation this weekend that there is a difference between being a single woman and being alone.
It dawned on me that I have always defined a complete life as having a partner and children.
I feel I have done some great work within myself since my divorce and am a decent person. I just have not been able to find my complete since years have gone by, dating is way harder than expected, and here I am still alone. I have accepted I am fine on my own but was searching for that completeness.
So, at this moment, I now realize I need to retrain my thinking so that I can think of my life as not being incomplete.
I am tired of feeling like the next step should or must be about finding someone.
It is causing me to think of the negativity about being alone. I want to focus on all the positives and good in my life. And being alone is not so bad. I love the life I have created.
But it is scaring me that I may never meet someone but am super tired of thinking it’s me, that there is something wrong with me.
Instead I know my lifestyle does not allow me to meet people and dating in your late 30s is nothing like dating in your early 20s.
I want to find ways to focus on finding my strengths, working on my writing more, and taking better care of my health.
I have wasted too much energy and time over the past two weeks. I need to just accept -fully accept – I may never find my soulmate or become a mother.
But I can still find my fabulous…
And be complete.
I refuse to live life feeling incomplete.
I am choosing to live life as finding my complete.