I cannot believe I am still critiquing myself as much as I have in the past week. It is wrong and I know it.
What in my makeup makes me this way? And how do I get rid of it NOW?!!
Too much time off on vacation allowing me time to pick at my flaws and weaknesses? (I still thoroughly enjoyed my vacation and home getting so much done though. SUPER grateful for the time off.) Sadly, I am sure I would have been doing it no matter where I was or what I was doing.
But I would LOVE to erase how brutal I have been to myself.
I think I need to do an experiment.
Let’s call it Operation Self Inventory.
I am thinking it is time to look within myself and figure out a way to be kinder to myself. I am kind with everyone else. I do not judge anyone but myself.
I like to say I am not a perfectionist anymore and have been accepting of mistakes, so why cannot I let go of the other ones?
Am I lying to myself and still holding my standards so high they cannot be met?
I hate that I have been controlled by something in the long run has absolutely no bearing on my world. Why am I giving it so much power now? I am super smart in knowing what I should be doing and feeling, so why does my head continue to stress and simmer over things that should only be the past? No bearing on today. No bearing on my future.
I must forgive myself for mistakes that really are not affecting my world and therefore need to be let go of. It is okay to make mistakes. (Are they really mistakes? No one else seems to think so but me.) Life does not come with instructions. I am human. Mistakes cause us to learn, grow and better ourselves.
So, can that really be a bad thing?
Back to the drawing board so it looks. Inventory. Work to be done. Be more kind to myself and get over it.
Two thoughts for the day.
I need to trust that there’s always hope.