Does one always have to be a work in progress? I consciously never thought about this before but am realizing for the first time I am wondering what exactly I should be working for, towards or on.
I have always been a work in progress. I have always bettered myself as a person, a daughter, a sister, a friend. It is not anything I ever thought about before. I just did it. I just always had things I wanted to accomplish. I have the personality of wanting to continue to learn and be the best I can be. There have never been limits.
I have always had challenge and things to complete. I have always had some goal or dream for what to work on next. I have always had something to focus on whether it be healing, loving, working , finishing school, make a home, running errands, or taking care of others.
Now I am realizing I have nothing to work on. While it is kind of a relief in terms of having a lot of free time, it is almost uncomfortable since I have never not had something to complete.
Is this weird? Am I just not focused enough? Am I being lazy? Or does it mean I need to come up with new goals? Or does it mean I can just relax and wait until something comes along that I decide I want to complete? Is this something to cross off my to do list as in completing everything that was important to me thus far?
There are two things I have been unlucky in completing or succeeding in. This just bums me out. Working out to be in tip-top shape and writing my book sure has kicked my butt.
I have never been able to stay on key with working out more days a week than not and my whole life with fitness has been in spurts. I have given up that I will be dedicated to a life of health and fitness as I wish I could be. As for writing, it just isn’t coming easy… or even hard. It’s just not happening.
I am at terms right now that those two things are not going to happen as I hoped. It sounds like I am giving up and maybe I am. I have succeeded at everything else in my life except these two things. I would normally have the fight in me to fight for it, but these two things are different.
Why is that?
I will fight to complete anything no matter how hard things get. I know persistence, perseverance, dedication and success. For some reason, it’s just not in the cards right now. And that makes me sad.
So, the question is am I a girl in progress even if I am not working hard at the moment at something? Am I supposed to find a new hobby? Am I supposed to take an online school class? Am I supposed to come up with something just to do?
It’s quite a weird concept that for the first time I am at a total stall. I just don’t see myself as a work in progress right now.
I think I should be though?
I should have goals and should have something I want to work on since I will always be able to better myself.
I guess even if I realize I am not doing something actively to learn or change, life will still bring learning and changing. I guess one never stops living, growing, becoming. Life teaches us to be a little wiser, better and stronger. I will always be a work in progress.